Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
