i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your penis caused this!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
