Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
