he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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