I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i permit you to call me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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