your parents love me but you hate me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
