Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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