you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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