Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize