I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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