He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
