i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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