i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
