she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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