What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
