don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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