there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize