Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
