they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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