Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
