Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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