oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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