i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
