JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
