this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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