This girl is more easily done than said...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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