you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
