Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
