my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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