I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
