My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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