a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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