Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love you.
Bad choice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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