Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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