ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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