This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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