If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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