She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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