i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
