So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize