the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my poor anus
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
