I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
