I am in a vortex of obligation.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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