Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
