she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
