Me too!
oh god the rape fog is back!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My vagina just clenched in fear
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
