I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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