The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
