omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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