whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
