I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
