Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
