She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
