Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
third nipple confirmed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
