Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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