i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
are you still at the devil's house?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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