idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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