the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
