I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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