One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
