he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
